with my job. i never thought there’d be such thing, but for the first time ever, i finally feel at home with a job. ideas are just constantly flowing through my head, and i don’t even have to try hard to impress my boss. today was only the first day, but it already feels so right. a year ago, i was sitting at my horrid cubicle daydreaming about working at a food-related company and envisioning the day i’d walk into my hr office and saying that i had scored a role at an awesome food company. who knew i’d have the courage to quit that job without any backup plan. i’m definitely proud of myself to gaining that courage to quit a full-time salaried job without a plan b and then scoring this new opportunity a week after my last day. life t’is good.
i came home to surprise my mom for mother’s day. as i look around my room, it’s interesting to see what i left behind… dream journals and diaries from way long ago, clothes that i deemed not so fashionable anymore, favorite stuffed animals, novels i read over and over again, CD albums from the early 2000s (you know, christina aguilera and britney)… i look at the images taped to my wall… glossy couture ads i ripped out from vogue, a collage of an old friend whom i don’t really talk to anymore even though she lives in SF too, cut outs from catalogs… it feels weird to look back and reflect upon the “old me”. this old me was shy, introverted, scared, and filled with regret. i hated my freckles and always wished my parents didn’t just clean the house when we had guests. i wanted to be far away from my parents who were very overprotective and always worrying. of course, now i am a completely different person, and i embrace my childhood and how my parents raised me. each time i visit my parents, i have a greater appreciation for them and a new (positive) perspective on my upbringing.
it feels so nice to be home. since moving out, every time i came home, i’ve always been hung up on some guy. the first was my ex (memorial day, 2012), the second was some guy i had met the week before and i was already looking forward to returning to SF to see him again (xmas 2012), and this time it’s some guy i’m kinda seeing. this time, however, i’m shifting all my attention to spending time with my parents and dogs. i came home to refresh and escape from city life. i’m always on the go and am out and about so it feels really great to not have much to do or think about.